Commentary: Ignorance and misinformation does not lead to good decision making
Source: The Oshkosh Northwestern By: Bill Bollom When I was a kid, there was no erotic kissing in movies. Now a kid gets exposed to tons of sex information at theaters, on TV, on videos, on the Net, in magazines, on billboards and in music. Sex is everywhere — bizarre sex, casual sex and sensationalistic sex. This is not constructive information, but this is where the bulk of sex education comes from for kids. It's unbelievable that in this day and age that education of our kids on sexual topics is such a controversial issue. To have no other sex education or to teach abstinence only does not work to cut back on sexually transmitted diseases and pregnancy; and, if kids are kept ignorant or misinformed of what we know about gays, we will have perfectly normal gay kids thinking about and committing suicide because of anti-gay rhetoric. Why would anyone expect otherwise? I have never seen situations where being uninformed and misinformed leads to better decisions. Sex is not the exception. There is a need for information on sex orientation, sexuality, preparedness, responsibility and on how to have committed relationships within the context of our hyper sexual era. There are real pressures and temptations out there. Kids have to know how to react to them, so tragedies can be avoided. I believe that even in the most forward-looking homes, parents need help with comprehensive sex education, which would include, for example, sexual anatomy, how to make love, how babies are made, birth control, STDs, sexual predators and homosexuality. Parents can get help by supporting comprehensive sex ed in schools and by having some good books on their home bookshelf. One such book, "The Underground Guide to Teen Sexuality" by Michael Basso, is a particularly good one. It's available through our library to peruse before you buy. The Basso book does not recommend teen sex, but all sexual topics you can think of are handled with aplomb. If teens are going to have sex, and 50 percent of those 15 years of age and older are, they need to have safe and responsible sex. This is the European approach, and European teens have less teen pregnancy and STDs. In Basso's book, sex is not just covered like in a driver's education manual; how to do it and how to prevent pregnancy and disease, the meaningfulness of sex is also discussed. He deals with other important topics for teens too; how to reach your full potential, and dealing with sadness and depression. The Basso book is good for teens of either sex, but Basso's Top 50 Ways To Say No To Sex will be a big help to your daughter, and it will bring back some good memories for you too. I guarantee you will be chuckling. It's worth the price of the book. Another great book, but for parents of teens, is "Dr. Ruth's Guide to Teens and Sex Today" by Ruth Westheimer. It too is available through our library. Kids might like the parental advice on how to deal with teens even more than their parents. Both of the books would have been greatly appreciated by me when I was a kid, and Basso's Top 50 would have been a godsend for me. There are many other great books to have on your shelf; "My Body, Myself," Linda Madaras, "The Guy Book," Mavis Jukes and "Changing Bodies, Changing Lives," Ruth Alexander. All of the books mentioned in this essay will be on my bookshelf for when the grandkids visit. Leaving sex education up to the parents will not work. I would guess less than 25 percent of early teens receive any sex information from their parents, and what they get from them isn't very useful in the 21st century. A 20-minute talk on the birds and bees after supper is not enough sex education. However, sex education in schools or from books in the home is also lacking. Schools and books provide factual knowledge, the morals come from home. A three -prong attack is best — school, books and home. One last thought: assuming it's decided to teach comprehensive sex education in school, I think the girls and boys should have separate classes. With all their hormones running full bore, it doesn't take much to get them titillated, and showing them how a condom fits over a banana would do it. The snickering and guffawing would not be a teachable moment in mixed classes. Northwestern Community columnist Bill Bollom is a retired professor from the University of Wisconsin-Oshkosh. In 1989 he received the UWO Distinguished Teaching award. |
